Am I gonna be a Mom ?

21st June 2009 - Well this is the day of my life when I found out that my pregnancy test is positive.I mean this was quite a shocking moment for me, well not because it was an unexpected shock...But all the emotions I went through this single day were too new and too many too handle for me.....here is how my day went...

I was supposed to travel next weekend to Netherlands for work..also was planning a short visit to Delhi for meeting the girl my brother had liked for marriage..so was all excited about these things.Went to parlour and got a new hair cut and a pampering facial.It was some special facial and while doing that my beautician just mentioned that they don't do it for pregnant ladies..how can I be pregnant..I mean we know we are ok to have a baby…. but somehow we thought it will go a little slow and will take some time, after all its not been even 2 months when we kind of thought that we can welcome a new member ( although you never ever get ready for this)…I just ignored the thought and enjoyed the pampering. While driving back just thought about it again that why can't I.I should at-least check just to be sure now that I am travelling. Coming home just casually told R to get a home pregnency test.I did that quite sure of it being negative...here am I done the prerequisites and waiting for just one line to appear...hey it appears to be 2 purple..hey none is faint..hey no both are getting dark...gosh..its positive as per instructions.OH MY GOD!! Am I really pregnant.Came out and R seemed happy and smiling about it (although he was not too much ready for this I know) but did his best..so here I am with +ve test and wondering how to react.I mean as per general notion women get all dreamy and happy or tensed about it..but I guess in reality it’s a big news for any girl and with all your doubts I am sure every girl takes her time to get to accept this fact...At least this was the case with me ( I don’t know about others more evolved humans, can only speak for myself)

22nd June 2009- This day..the dreadful Monday could not have been worse for me.Before being sure of being pregnant or telling my mom about it I had to some how convey to my boss abroad that I won't be able to travel for an urgent assignment I was so much wanted for.I guess challenges are more for working women who have to manage a lot of emotions and responsibilities and taking a decision of what’s going to work best for them.I was still thinking that I can go with what R was telling me, that first 3 months it’s no difference(don't know what made him think so without any knowledge)...So I met this gynecologist near my office who told me that home tests are quite 100% accurate and I am pregnant for sure and told me I can travel before unveiling the horror stories of how pregnant women feel during first three months and how they don't like eating anything and might also faint all alone..so the thought of travelling to a new county all alone for work made me decide instantly at that moment that I am not gonna go anywhere for any damn assignment and put myself in trouble. I guess that's the beauty of being independent and having your own thought process...you might take opinions of everyone but you finally do what you feel will work best for you. So here I went back to my desk and mailed my manager that I am not going to travel and gave him the true reason, although was not too happy to disclose it to him. But again being a responsible employee I had felt a bit of guilt for not being able to live to my commitment. 

But anyways I didn't keep any one in dark and after all with all confusions and my confused mental state that day I somehow knew that this is the one of most important happening in my life and I have bigger responsibility for it now than anything else!!